You Don't Have to Look like You Have an Eating Disorder to Have One

This week is National Eating Disorder Week. I wanted to write a post and share a bit about why this week is so important and why it’s even more important to shed light on EDs and the facts and issues surrounding them.

I have struggled at many different times in my life with eating disorders. It’s been an ongoing journey to heal my mind and my relationship with my body and food.

During all of these times I struggled with EDs I was never “looked the part” or like what a girl with an eating disorder is supposed to look like, but I was one.

Case in point, are the pictures below. You might look at these and think I look great! But the reality of these pics is that they are from a time I was deeply in the crux of my ED behaviour, which was shortly after my divorce. I went from a size 10 to a size 3-4 in just a few months.

These are the only pics I have from that time because I wasn’t proud that I had lost as much weight as I did. I was terrified by it because I knew on some level what I was doing to myself. I knew I was wasting away. I knew I was harming myself. My friends and family, my coworkers, my boss at the time, were all concerned that I was losing so much weight. They wanted me to get help. So, eventually, I got up the courage to go to a walk in clinic to ask for the help I needed and this is what happened. The doctor came in the room and as I tried to tell him what was going on, he looked me up and down and told me I looked great, that I just needed to relax, then he left the room. He made me feel completely invalidated and like I was lying or something. That I wasn’t thin enough to even be in the throws of an eating disorder. This instance is why it’s important to talk about EDs the facts and the reality of them. Because the ones that really helped me were my friends and family, who knew I wasn’t meant to be that thin. The ones that got me through were women in support groups for EDs that had encountered similar rhetoric from health care pros or lost loved ones.

So, it is clear that more conversations need to happen around EDs, the stigmas associated with them need to end. Eating disorders affect men and women alike, and of varying ages from 14 to 40 to 60. There are no age limits here. The behaviours associated with ED’s can easily be hidden under the guise of socially acceptable weight loss and diet culture behaviour and beliefs, so more work needs to be done to unravel this rhetoric and call it out for what it really is, disordered eating. In other words, it might not be her revenge body, after the break up. It might be that she is struggling with her out of control life so her excessive eating and exercise regime might be the only way for her to feel some form of control. He might be getting so fit, you might want to think he must be doing something right. But eating only broccoli and baked chicken every day all day is not. So this week do your best to educate yourself and think about the ways you might be contributing to the stigmas and toxic diet culture that enables Eds to go unnoticed and untreated. We can do better. Let's start talking about how we can make that happen.

If you or someone you know are struggling with an eating disorder or even disordered eating information is available. Check out https://nedic.ca/ or call Toll Free at 1-866-633-4220.

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional just sharing my experiences and journey of personal growth and healing.