7 Tough things about Being Pregnant in COVID Times
Disappointments during COVID Times, Isolation and Pregnant Times.
Times such as these are not easy. We are experiencing a global pandemic with enforced protocols and restrictions meant to keep us protected, healthy and safe. We are feeling the restriction squeeze especially since the holidays have just passed and we are approaching the one year anniversary of 'flatten the curve'. Birthdays, weddings, showers and so much more are either not able to happen or not in able in the same capacity they used to. Our day to day lives look very different and for the past year we have all been experiencing the struggle to transition into these changes, adapt and remain as flexible as we can. It's been exhausting and hard.
As a very pregnant woman during a pandemic, the challenges, disappointments and grief around not having a 'normal', for lack of a better word, pregnancy experience have been popping up for me a lot lately and I wanted to share some of the parts of my pregnancy I have been struggling with most. Such as:
Appointments and Dr. Visits. Due to lock down restrictions one of the hardest parts of being pregnant during the pandemic was not having my partner allowed to escort me to some of my Dr. appts and ultrasound visits. I honestly, didn't think it would be that big of a deal, until I was in it. I am grown I can do things on my own but when I went by myself all pregnant and alone, when I had planned on having my partner there, I found myself feeling quite a bit of grief over the experience of being pregnant during a pandemic and how it was a very different experience from the experience I was expecting. I wanted my partner there to be able to participate, have his own parental experience and be an equal party in the communicating with the care givers, doctors and prenatal team. It felt unfair that he couldn't do that just because he was not physically carrying the child.
Pre-natal Classes. Pregnancy life pre-COVID involved pre-natal classes and the connections made with other expecting moms at those classes. These classes are often hosted by hospitals or women's groups and are incredibly beneficial to preparing expecting mom's about everything going on with her body and with baby and often involve partner in the whole process in a much more hands on way. They teach techniques that are available to expecting mom's for pain management during labour, general prepared-ness for partners during labour and prep parents for after labour with newborn baby. Unfortunately, at the moment it is not possible to take these classes in the traditional sense. They can be taken online, of course, which is great, but not the same. We all know the difficulties and weird disconnection of connecting with people via online meeting apps such as zoom sessions, or even recordings. There is a lack of a certain community feel, with the online version of these sessions. Connecting with other women, mothers and expecting parents through our shared experience is something I feel I have missed out on.
Family and friend Visits. One of the things that has been so tough and will be tough is that family and friends will not be able to visit while we are in the hospital once baby is born. There will be no allowance of additional support and comfort during pre-labour or prior once baby has been born. My partner and I, will for the most part, be on our own.
Friends and Family in General. A lot of my close friends and family have not been able to visit, live and in person, while I have been pregnant and they probably won't get a chance due to isolation, travel restrictions and repeated lock downs. It's very sad to me that they can't come over and have a tea and share in the experience with us. The only way some friends and family can experience the growth of baby and my pregnancy is through social media and text. Thank goodness for the gram and facebook.
Showers and sprinkles. I am a very blessed and have a lot that I need in life. I am very grateful for this. So when I say showers, I do not mean, in the sense, that I want to get a bunch of gifts from my people. Honestly, it is because I love a good, fun wedding shower, tea party or dinner party. I love party planning. I like organizing them, cooking for them, fixing up dishes and treats for my family and friends to eat and enjoy. So, I am pretty bummed that I don't get to plan a fun, baby boy themed shower and party with my people and for my people. Just think about all the cute little bow tie and moustache themed candies, desserts and dishes we are missing out on, like bow tie pasta salad and molded chocolate moustaches. I feel the missed opportunity. I feel it.
Second Hand shopping. As an avid thrifter and garage saler, I am missing these adventures of finding great pieces, in general. I always thought when I had my first baby, that would buy most of the things I needed second hand. Which is a little more difficult to do solely online. Garage sales and thrift shops are full of great finds for babies and kids and I am pretty miffed I am missing out on the thrift deals.
City Trips. Living in a small town is a bit of challenge when it comes to getting supplies. To offset this issue, many of us small town living folk head to the nearest city for supply runs every so often. Well, with COVID we haven't been able to do so in a long while. Travel even between regions is not a good idea at present. So, we gotta get it all online. But I miss getting all I needed in a good city trip and heading home well stocked and ready. Would have been nice to do that with baby stuff, as well. But we gotta adjust.
While it is difficult to deal with some of these issues, it is also important to note, that adhering to the regulations and rules put in place, protects not just ourselves, but those we love that are elderly and vulnerable. We should all be doing our part and all we can to keep each other safe and healthy until vaccines are in available to all and those restrictions, rules and protocols can be lifted.
It is also important to note that in the same breath it is also okay for us to talk about, discuss and work through our feelings around some of the challenges, disappointments, postponements and feelings of grief about the times we are experiencing and the things we aren't able to do anymore, like not being able to participate in connections, traditions and celebrations that exist in our lives and cultures like we used to.
I hope in sharing my experiences, around being pregnant during COVID, I can help others feel less alone in some of the struggles they are going through, as well, at this time. What are some of the harder things you have been dealing with during COVID times? Getting married, having a baby, finishing school, changing careers, moving? Share in the comments below.
Sending you love and health.
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